Interrupting Cow

I’m not a small talker. You won’t catch me in a waiting room making chit chat with my fellow waiters. I’m not good at meeting new people nor keeping up my end of the conversation, particularly if it’s a topic in which I’m not interested.

MOH gets involved in conversations that make my eyes glaze over. Whether we’re with friends or family, when the topic turns to home maintenance, historical places or buildings, or lawn care (HUGE snooze), I tune out. Oh, I try to nod politely and make listening noises (mmm-hmmm, oh yes, uh-huh)  but in my head I’m a million miles away. Or maybe off petting resident dog.

I am an enthusiastic listener AND participator if we hit the right topic. Books, dogs, employee relations and workplace policies, 80s nostalgia, music, pop-culture trivia, did I say dogs, family, writing, etc. I think I’m a pretty good listener. I love the Stephen Covey quote “Listen with the intent to understand, not the intent to reply,” and I try to be a good student of that discipline. I want to be considerate. However…

Slow talkers – get out of the way! If it’s a topic worth talking about, let’s keep the conversation moving. If you talk too slow, or pause too long to think of  a word, like any good competitive game player, I’m going to swoop in and try to guess what you’re trying to say.

MOH does not appreciate this approach to conversation. Over dinner, I’m glad for him to have the floor and tell me about his day. But he is aggravated by questions I ask for clarification or any side comments I make, regardless of relevance. I get annoyed as well. If he wants me to hold my questions until the end, then he needs to make an announce at the beginning that the presentation is about to begin and all questions are to be held until the end. Without that, I mistakenly think we are having a conversation where dialog is exchanged and goes back and forth.

My favorite conversations are those with friends and family when we fall into a topic everyone is jazzed about. Everybody has something to contribute and one contribution flows into another which flows into a different topic and pretty soon somebody has to say, “Wait, what are we talking about and how did we get on this topic?” Or sometimes, “Back to the original topic, I wanted to say…” Our Sunday evening sibling calls often go this way, and also conversations at work with besties.

I have been known to put myself on mute during our family book club Zoom call as I don’t want to monopolize the conversation. And yes, as I have already admitted, I am prone to guess what a slow talker is going to say. I have clarifying questions during long involved stories! If I have offended you, I apologize. If that makes me an Interrupting Cow… “Mooooo!”