To Cruise or Not To Cruise

This week, my brother sent a web link to our three siblings and me via our text message group.  It directed us to an article titled 10 Types of People Who Should Never Take a Cruise Vacation.  Both of my sisters responded immediately – NO THANKS!  One of them went on to say that she fell into 8 of the listed categories.  I didn’t even need to read the article to know that I don’t belong on a cruise.      

Funnily enough, earlier in the week I had been to lunch with two coworkers who both like to go on cruises.  As one of them had recently returned from a trip – somewhere in the ocean – much of the lunch conversation was about cruise lines, sizes of ships, which cruise line has a new ship coming out, sharing a dinner table with strangers, the travails of snagging poolside lounge chairs, and destinations past and future.  No one seem to notice when my eyes glazed over, and I slid out of the booth and under the table.

But seriously, I’m happy for them to have and share this fun pastime.  I just don’t get it.  Here is where I fall in the categories of people who should never take a cruise vacation.

#3. People who don’t like enclosed spaces   For me, it’s not so much about the enclosed space.  Back in the day I thought nothing of pulling down the coffin like lid of a tanning bed, and more recently I’ve floated inside an enclosed sensory deprivation tank.  It would be the fact that I can’t get up and leave if and when I’ve had enough, and I don’t mean leaving the dining room to go to my cabin.  When I decide I’m done, I’m done.  I need the ability to hop in my car and go home.  I missed my 30^th high school reunion not because I’m one of those folks that hates class reunions, but rather because it was a dinner cruise and I’ll be held hostage by no one.

#5. People who are afraid of the ocean   Interesting that the article mentions folks who might have ocean fears shaped by movies like The Poseidon Adventure.  I admit I’ve seen this movie at least half a dozen times and I hold my breath every time Reverend Scott (Gene Hackman) jumps into the water and swims through the ships corridors looking for a way through to higher ground.  When he gets trapped, it’s up to Mrs. Rosen (Shelley Winters) to jump in and save the day.  Spoiler alert – neither Reverend Scott nor Mrs. Rosen make it to Greece.

#6. People who tend to get motion sickness   Herein lies the biggest obstacle to our family members’ enjoyment of a cruise.  My sisters can (and will whenever the opportunity arises) tell you horror stories about motion sickness and losing their respective lunches during what were supposed to be fun Sunday afternoon car rides.  And I don’t know how common vertigo is, but every single one of us siblings have had it, and it ain’t fun.  One of my brothers was even hospitalized one time during a bad spell.

#8. People who hate crowds and #10. People who hate waiting in lines   I really feel like these two belong together.  From what I’ve been told, the check-in process on a cruise ship is a crowd waiting in line.  There are articles, blogs, and youtube videos explaining how to avoid crowds on a cruise.  Here’s a tip I didn’t see.  ‘Don’t go on a cruise.’

I enjoy plenty of past times that others don’t care for, so I won’t judge.  I’m happy for those cruisers that are out there enjoying their best life.  As for me, I’ll be sticking with the kind of cruising that includes four wheels.