I Love(d) the Nightlife

At home the other evening, I made a comment about running out to get something.  I don’t even remember now what is was, or where I was thinking I might go.  To the store for eggs?  Local restaurant to make a burger pick-up?  It doesn’t matter.  What I do remember is my son saying, “You aren’t going anywhere.”

I looked at him puzzled.  “What do you mean I’m not going anywhere?”

“It’s already dark out,” he said.  “You’re not going anywhere.”  It was 7:15pm.

I was immediately indignant and defensive. It is true that I’m not spending my nights out on the town these days. There’s a pandemic going on for crying out loud! There just aren’t that many places to go. But I was taken aback and immediately started thinking about what I could do to prove him wrong. I considered heading out to the grocery store. I could have gone to the library, but it was already closed and our branch is still just doing drop-offs or pick-ups. I could have gone around the corner to the gas station and filled up my car. I continued to ponder destinations as I sat down in front of the TV. The next morning I was still pondering places I could go just to show him up.

Yesterday I was chatting with a friend about signing up for the COVID vaccine and commiserating with him about being in the over 50 crowd.  He mentioned that driving at night is one of the things he avoids and I told him about my son’s challenging comment.  He shared with me that he recently told his husband that they should get to Costco by three so that they could be home by dark.  His husband responded by asking, “What are you, 70??” 

Somedays it almost feels that way. What happened to my youth? Surely it was not that long ago that I was sneaking out to go drinking with friends. Actually that’s true. It was only three years ago that I was wandering down G-Trail at the campground with my cup full of Tree-Smacker looking for a friendly campfire. Ahhh, that was fun. But I digress.

I love my mom, and I miss her every day.  There are certainly things about her that I’ve learned to emulate and embrace, but being home before dark is not one of them.

In my mind, this is what I see when I think of having a fun Saturday night.

But the sad reality is that my fun Saturday nights these days look much more like this.

I’m starting to lose track of time and perspective. Am I getting old or am I being safe? Certainly being safe is getting very old. I want to go to the theatre or a concert. Today I got excited when I opened a new puzzle and found it had a cardboard stand to hold the box lid.

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I have to believe this is pandemic inertia. I am not turning into my parents as suggested by Dr. Rick in the Geico commercials. I can open a pdf, I know how to pronounce quinoa, and although I may make a few noises when I settle into my chair, I do not need a sign to live, laugh, and love. This too shall pass and we will once again go to the show, head out for dinner and drinks, and yes, my son, I will once again leave the house after dark.