My millennial turned 30 this week. That shouldn’t come as a surprise to me since he just spent an entire year as a 29-year-old. It has given me plenty of time to reflect.
As an expectant mother, I was very nervous about taking care of a tiny newborn with a wobbly neck. Before he was even born, I was anxious for him to hurry up and be able to support his own head, but once he was here that was nary a concern. I loved having a newborn and never wanted him to get any bigger. Fresh home from the hospital, I would hold him in my arms and simply watch him sleep.
But then I loved having a baby that sat in his bouncy seat and interacted with me, trying to emulate the words I spoke to him. When he did sit up by himself and I was able to pull him around the block in the wagon, I thought that was the perfect age – and I’ve thought that about each stage, and age, ever since. I never wished for him to be different than he was on that very day.
We have the best memories of Disney sing-alongs, school, scouting, and orchestra events, hanging out at bookstores and waiting in line for the next Harry Potter book, going to the movies, camping, and on and on. I enjoyed having his fifth-grade friends come and hang out – my heart melts that he still has that same group of friends today. I made it a priority to write down funny quotes and stories from every age.
July 1997
Max: Mom, know what I’m going to do when I grow up?
Me: What?
Max: First I’m going to marry Theresa (his daycare teacher), then I’m going to be an ice cream man, and then I’m going to be a frog.
Some days, I still see him as my child, unsure of himself, looking to me for guidance. A few months ago he asked me to accompany him to the car dealership where he purchased a new car – his first time dealing with a salesman and obtaining bank financing. It was his deal, but I appreciated the opportunity to be his wingman. More recently I sent an aloe vera plant home with him. Funnily enough, he had just as many questions for me as he had had for the car dealer. “Where am I gonna put it? How often should I water it? How much sun does it need?” He was unimpressed with my vague answers of ‘near the window’ and ‘every other week or so.’ When I asked him later how it was going, he gave me some advice on my own aloe plant with a limp stalk, letting me know he had done his internet research.
In other areas he is very confident. There is no question how he feels about U.S. politics, world events, foreign relations, or the latest video game release. As a millennial he is a much more informed consumer, citizen, and human being than I have ever been.
I enjoy that he lives on his own but lives close enough that we can get together whenever we want, and that he does in fact like to get together with his dad and me. Having never lived on my own (I always had my parents, a roommate, my husband) I am sometimes a little jealous of his downtown apartment and him having the experience of being responsible only to himself. I appreciate that I’m welcomed often to come and just hang out.
November 2022
I had tickets to the Jackson Symphony Orchestra and MOH was working. Since Max lives in Jackson, it made sense for me to go to his apartment first and for us to travel from there. He was ready when I got there. “Will you drive?” he asked.
I was immediately reminded of all the times I drove him to swimming lessons, boy scout meetings, and school events. Even after he could drive and had his own drivers’ license he would prefer for me to drive so he could sleep, play Gameboy, play on his phone, or just zone out.
“Sure,” I said. So, I drove.
It was dark when we got out of the show, and he held my arm, guiding me through the dimly lit parking lot pointing out rain puddles and uneven spots of pavement. He opened my car door and helped me in.
“You’re still going to want me to drive when I’m 85 years old and you’re escorting me to a doctor’s appointment aren’t you?” I asked.
He just smiled and said, “Yeah, pretty much.”
Oh, my son. Time is fleeting and life in unpredictable. We don’t know if we have one more day or 30 more years to spend together, but I treasure every moment.
Once Upon a Willow 